So drunk, too bad you don't want this
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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