There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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