What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
