I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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