just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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