Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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