You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
