i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
