OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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