I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
