And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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