I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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