shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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