It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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