shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
