2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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