My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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