Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
