so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
