suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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