The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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