Little spoons don't ask big questions
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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