I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
