you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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