We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
