It's like God shit irony all over that family
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
