You're so nebulous sometimes
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
