Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
