idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
