epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
