people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
