i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
