it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
