What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
