We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
