I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
