I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
