are you so shy because you have an std?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
