even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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