I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
