I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
