you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
