took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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