It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
