Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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