He kissed a someone with a penis
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
