it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
