I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
