i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He? As in you personified your dick?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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