i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
