Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
