He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
